You’ve tried self-help books, meditation, exercise or speaking to your friends, but you are at the end of your tether. You start to wonder, “Should I go to therapy?”. This could be the missing piece of the puzzle, and it is a valid question that many of us ask ourselves at some point. Questioning whether to go to therapy may bring up a range of feelings and thoughts. It can perhaps even be a little daunting, especially if you’ve never seen a therapist or psychologist before. You may be wondering what exactly to expect. I have had many discussions with people, particularly in our initial meetings, speaking about therapy and answering questions they have about the process and whether it could be beneficial for them.
If you have found yourself questioning “Should I go to therapy?” as a step to take care of your psychological well-being, here are a few hints that therapy may be helpful:
You’ve been feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
Life is challenging, and it can throw a lot at us. Sometimes it can feel as though we are juggling too many things at once. It may feel like you are a pressure cooker which is about to burst, or an overflowing well of water with a running tap and no off-switch. You may have noticed changes in yourself if you’re feeling constantly stressed or overwhelmed. Perhaps you are more irritable or tearful than usual, or experiencing physical symptoms such as fatigue, aches and pains and catching viral illnesses more often. If you are feeling stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, therapy can provide a safe space to explore these emotions and learn more helpful coping strategies for managing them. By learning these skills, therapy could help you sort through the chaos and become less overwhelmed.
You’re struggling with your sense of self-worth or self-esteem.
If you have been experiencing negative thoughts about yourself that lead to you feeling unworthy or even unlovable, then this can be very distressing. Low self-worth can become invasive as it seeps into our daily lives, becoming more present and creating problems personally, professionally and socially. It may be that you have trouble setting boundaries with other people in order to please, or you notice a pattern in your behaviours where you hold back from doing things that you would like to try because you lack confidence. This is a sign that therapy could be helpful, by working together with your psychologist (or therapist) to address underlying beliefs about yourself, and helping you to build a stronger sense of self-worth and practice self-compassion.
You’re feeling isolated or alone.
Experiencing loneliness is part of the human condition. This may stem from us being “social beings”, where having a sense of belonging helps us to feel connected or secure. Sometimes, we feel disconnected from others, which can be painful. Our disconnection may be physical distance, particularly for people living alone, or emotional distance where we have people around us but feel misunderstood, or even both. If you have been feeling isolated or as if no one understands what you’re going through, therapy can provide an outlet for feeling connected. Our training involves learning to listen without judgment and to offer support in ways that friends and family might not be able to. For many people, having a place to be seen and heard can be very powerful.
You’re having difficulty managing emotions.
As human beings, we all experience emotional ups and downs. After all, we developed having different emotions for a reason, to learn about ourselves, other people and our environment. But if you find yourself struggling to regulate your emotions or understand what you are feeling, then this could have a big impact on your life. Perhaps you find yourself exploding at other people, or only noticing what you feel when it’s very intense, leading you to feel powerless in your reactions. If this sounds familiar, therapy could be useful. You may spend time familiarising yourself with your emotions in sessions to understand them and their root cause, and consider alternative ways of regulating your emotions in a more helpful way. Learning about your emotions and finding new ways of coping can be empowering, as you start to feel more in control and connected with yourself.
You’re experiencing problems in your relationship(s).
Many people associate “having relationship problems” as exclusive to romantic relationships. However, if you think about it, we actually have many relationships in our lives which may cause stress. Whether it is that you are having troubles with your partner, a family member, a friend, or even your boss or coworker, trying to navigate difficult relationships can take a toll on your mental health. Especially when relationship dynamics involve a high level of conflict, and communication becomes strained. Therapy can help by providing strategies to improve those dynamics through self-discovery and learning about communication so that issues can be addressed constructively. This may involve different types of therapy, including individual therapy, couples therapy and family therapy, depending on your circumstances and needs.
You’re struggling to move forward.
Sometimes we find ourselves feeling stuck or being stuck in a pattern. This can come up in different areas of our lives, whether it’s stagnation in our relationships, our careers, or personal growth. It can feel as though we have been taking one step forward, two steps backwards every time we try to move forward. You may feel hopeless, frustrated, and helpless, and unsure of what to do next. If you feel like you are not making progress in your life, often, coming to therapy can help you work through these feelings by offering a new perspective and guiding you towards actionable steps towards your goals. This involves discussing your experiences and typical “traps” you have fallen into with your psychologist to break free from old patterns and make way for change.
You’ve been through a major change in your life.
We all go through life and experience change at different points. However, some changes are bigger or more impactful on our well-being than others. For instance, when we experience major life changes, such as losing a loved one, a breakup or divorce, a change in our jobs, or moving to someplace new, we can be left feeling uncertain, lost or even depressed as we grieve our past. The reason that change is so difficult is that it challenges our need for stability, as it disrupts our routines, and we fear uncertainty. Additionally, transitions can be tricky to navigate during the period of adjustment, as all change involves some gains and some losses. Sometimes it can be useful to go to therapy during this time, as talking about your experience can help you to process your feelings and move towards a new way of living.
You’re having trouble managing an existing mental health problem.
We all go through periods of time where things are easier to manage, and through times where it becomes increasingly difficult to manage. It could be that you have a preexisting mental health diagnosis, and have found that symptoms relating to your diagnosis have become more frequent and have been interrupting your daily life. This may be a sign that seeking therapy is the next step to take as part of your healing journey. Perhaps there have been recent changes that have triggered a mental health relapse, or maybe you did not feel ready to discuss and explore your difficulties previously. In these circumstances, therapy can offer a structured environment where you can gain more insight into your challenges and find strategies to manage or alleviate symptoms, so that you can regain confidence in yourself.
If any of the above resonated with you, and you have started to question whether therapy is “right for you”, this might be the first step towards realising that it could be beneficial. Ultimately, going to therapy is a personal decision, and there are many different reasons why people seek therapy. It does not mean you’re “weak” or “broken”. It can be used for anyone to wants to better understand themselves, cope with life’s challenges, or improve their psychological well-being. There’s no wrong time to seek support. However, I appreciate that taking that first step to reach out may feel challenging.
The act of going to therapy is an active role you would be taking to look after your psychological health, just like you would seek advice from a nurse or doctor to take care of a physical illness. If you are feeling unsure, there is no harm in reaching out to a mental health professional for an initial consultation. Therapy is a valuable mental health resource for you to use.
